Choices
by csiny dragon
Summary: sometimes what you want isn't what you need


Choices

Fear paralysed him in his chair. It started with a gentle shiver, so gentle that he wasn't sure the desk had moved. Then the quake hit. He watched, frozen, as files fell from the shelves. A little voice in his head said 'doorframes are safe' but as the words played through his mind a bookcase teetered and then fell across the doorway splintering into a cascade of jagged pieces. He was trapped and he knew it. He drew a shaky breath and thought of her while trying to blot out the sound of groaning steel and breaking glass. Somewhere in the distance he thought he heard someone call his name then something hit him and the world went dark.

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"You can open your eyes now." The voice held a light-hearted lilt of laughter in it. Recognition flooded him.

"Claire," he whispered. He opened his eyes and there she was, standing in front of him, as beautiful as the first day he'd seen her. "Claire." His voice was stronger now, lifted by a warmth he hadn't felt in a long time. He stepped closer and frowned as she backed away. She raised her hand as he approached again.

"Before you decide to stay here there's something you need to see." She took him by the hand and led him to a large screen. On it he could see children playing on a roundabout, two boys and a girl, all about 3 or 4 years old. As he watched he could see them run to their parents and hear them begging for ice-cream. Then he saw them take off again to crowd around an older woman. He heard them calling her "Grandma, grandma." He turned to Claire.

"Why are you showing me this?"

"Because you need to know. Look again."

He turned back to the screen. This time he could see the rubble pile left by the office building and the rescue crew desperately searching it.

"They're looking for me." He said.

"Look closer."

The view panned around and dove deep into the tangle of metal and concrete. He saw himself half buried in the mess.

"That's …" he broke off as he saw the other form sprawled across his body. Claire nodded.

"It's Helen Claymore, your ballistics technician. She's there because she was trying to save you." She cupped his face in her hands. "Mac, your injuries aren't life-threatening but hers are. You're here because you want to be here. She will have no choice because she can't tell them where she is. Those children you saw are her children and her grandchildren if she lives to have them. But if you stay here they won't reach her in time. I know you want to be with me but are you prepared to sacrifice her too?"

"I didn't ask her to look for me."

"She wanted to make sure you were safe. She's willing to die so you can live, Mac. How much is that worth to you?"

"I don't want to leave you!"

"Then you both die."

"Why?"

She shook her head.

"You still don't see it do you? She'd rather die and be with you than live without you. She's in almost the same place as you. The difference is that you can both live or both die. I'm already dead. I can't come back to you but you can go back to her."

He kept silent for a few minutes.

"If I go back she will live."

Claire nodded.

"She'll die of old age surrounded by her family."

"If I let you go …"

"Yes." She reached up and brushed away his tears. "I love you Mac. I always have and I always will. But you don't need to be with me to know that." He closed his eyes as she kissed him tenderly.

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Claire watched the screen as he awoke and began to call for help. The rescue dogs heard him and scrambled across the debris with the search team right behind them. Then she touched the screen again. The scene changed back to the old lady in the park and the children. The little girl had just fallen on the path and scraped her knee. The woman struggled to her feet.

"It's okay Helen, you rest. I've got her." An old man picked her up. "It's okay Claire. Granddad's got you." She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"Appy nanibursy, Ganddad." He smiled and set her back on her feet again. As she ran off he joined Helen on the bench-seat.

"Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Happy Anniversary, Mac."


End file.
